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Category: Life Process

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Do I Belong

March 31, 2025March 31, 2025 Samuel Rainey, M.A., LPCCommunication, Couples, Life Process

This question might also sounds like:  Will you leave me? What are the limits of your acceptance of me? When will you see enough of me and turn your back. How much can I trust you to stay? What are the limits of my acceptance of your love, care, attention, inattention, and commitment to Read More

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Building Trust

January 19, 2023January 19, 2023 Samuel Rainey, M.A., LPCLife Processauthenticity, process, relationships, wisdom

Most relationships I encounter in my office are suffering from a lack of trust. I think everyone is asking the question, “can I trust you to do right by me?” By the time most have arrived in counseling, the answer to that question is probably a “I’m not sure” or Read More

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Marriage Recovery – Step 12: Generosity

June 18, 2022June 17, 2022 Samuel Rainey, M.A., LPCCouples, Life ProcessMarriage Recovery

Step 12: Having a relational awakening, we commit to helping others in completing these steps, and to continue practicing recovery in our lives together.    Prior to attending graduate school, my wife and I got started in the counseling world by volunteering at our church and a new marriage ministry. Read More

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Marriage Recovery – Step 11: Mystery

June 17, 2022June 17, 2022 Samuel Rainey, M.A., LPCCouples, Life ProcessMarriage Recovery

Step 11: Through prayer and reflection together, we seek to improve our relationship with God and each other by asking for help, seeking knowledge of His will for us, and exercising the power to carry this out.  “My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do Read More

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Marriage Recovery – Step 10: Hope

June 15, 2022June 15, 2022 Samuel Rainey, M.A., LPCCouples, Life ProcessMarriage Recovery

Step 10: With hope, we continue with an ongoing relational inventory and commit make things right when we are wrong or have hurt our spouse In the last step, you wrote a letter of responsibility that gave specific details about how your actions hurt your spouse. Step 9 and the Read More

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Marriage Recovery – Step 9: Amends

June 14, 2022June 14, 2022 Samuel Rainey, M.A., LPCCouples, Life ProcessMarriage Recovery

Step 9: Taking responsibility, we make direct amends to those we have hurt, namely our spouse and ourselves, except when these amends would cause undue harm on others.    A good friend of mine suggested that he thinks the first thousand years of heaven will be apologies. Maybe we can Read More

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4 Things Men Need to Know About Their Porn Use

June 13, 2022June 22, 2022 Samuel Rainey, M.A., LPCCouples, Life Processboundaries, marriage, porn, pornography, sex

Several years ago there was a similar theme showing up in my office with the couples I was meeting with: The husbands porn use. Upon reflection, I spent some time writing what I thought the wives needed to know about their husbands porn use. I’ve long thought about writing a Read More

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Marriage Recovery – Step 8: Responsibility

June 9, 2022June 9, 2022 Samuel Rainey, M.A., LPCCouples, Life ProcessMarriage Recovery

Step 8: Made a list of how we have hurt or harmed our spouse, and our marriage.    Responsibility is the lynchpin between forgiveness and reconciliation. We don’t need someone else to participate with us in order to forgive. That is something we can do on our own. But we Read More

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Marriage Recovery – Step 6: Trust

June 6, 2022June 6, 2022 Samuel Rainey, M.A., LPCCouples, Life ProcessMarriage Recovery

(If you’re just now tuning in for this series, click here to start at the beginning: Marriage Recovery – The 12 Steps) Step 6: We are trusting and ready to have God forgive and remove from us these flaws, individually and collectively.  One of my favorite art exhibits that I Read More

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Marriage Recovery – Step 5: Repentance

June 3, 2022June 3, 2022 Samuel Rainey, M.A., LPCLife ProcessMarriage Recovery

Step 5: Admit to ourself, God, to others we trust, and then to our spouse the nature of our flaws, wrongdoings, and shortcomings.  “Praying” by Mary OliverIt doesn’t have to bethe blue iris, it could beweeds in a vacant lot, or a fewsmall stones; justpay attention, then patcha few words Read More

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Recent Posts

Listen Twice, Speak Once

March 31, 2025

Do I Belong

March 31, 2025

Building Trust

January 19, 2023

Marriage Recovery – Step 12: Generosity

June 18, 2022

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