This post is a part of The 15-Day Relationship Challenge. If you’re just now tuning in, click here for the whole series.
Rest, part 2. We’re going to be ok.
Good morning. Welcome to Day 14, another day of Rest!
Last week on day 7 we began addressing the topic of rest, where it comes from, and why we need it. Today, I want to shift focus from individual rest to relational rest. Our relationships need the space that only rest can provide.
Relationships need rest from the strain and stress that come from two strangers living together. Relationships need rest from the high expectations we demand of them. They need time and space to grow, not under the hurried anxiety of what our selfish gratifications require. They need rest to remember that it’s going to be ok, and that we are going to be ok.
I often talk about a marriage as the first baby of a couple’s union. It starts off all cuddly, and small, and needy. It needs lots of attention, and out of this newfound love we give it all that we have. As it matures, it starts showing the signs of imperfections given by the caregivers. As the days and years go on, the marriage shows the fruits of the neglect or the fruits of care.
Rest for relationships is what allows for healing. To recoup from the previous week’s work, stress, parenting, and life.
The 13 days of this challenge thus far have involved a lot of hard work to remember your story, grow in grace, bless and celebrate the highs and lows, face your responsibilities of failure, and the redemptive healing work of forgiveness. If any relationship needed a rest, it’s the one that just did all of those things.
Today’s challenge of rest is about playing together.
Remember, play is the enjoyment of something that does not require someone to win and someone to lose. Play is what kids do in a sandbox, and it’s what adults forget how to do (outside of sex, which is a great form of play). Dancing is play. Taking a pottery class is play. Cooking is play. Driving on new roads is play.
Play together. For a day, forget the silliness of life. Forget that there is cleaning to do, chores to accomplish, and work to be done. Revel in the sunny day, cast off your worries together, dance in the street. Scare your kids with how removed from your adulting-trance you are today. Wander, and wonder. Together.
- What did I think about my spouse in reading today’s material? Was it kind? Was it thoughtful? Was it loving?
- Did I have feelings, thoughts, questions, or stories that came to mind?
- What is something I can do for them today?
- How can I welcome and receive what they have done for me today?
What kind of rest does your relationship need today? The rest of play, of relaxation, of space, of new activity together?Plan a day of play with your spouse.
Hello! Welcome back. Great to see you again. How was your day? Tomorrow, we’re going to wrap up our 15-days together, and shift our focus from inside, to outside. To this point, every day has been what is going on inside you, or inside your marriage. Focusing on what to do with all that growth will be your launching pad tomorrow.
Take 10-15 minutes tonight with your spouse to talk through your day.
- What were the highs and lows?
- Where were you surprised?
- Was there anything different about your day because of the assignment(s)?
- From this mornings reading, what stood out to you?
- If you’re willing, share your answers to the assignment.
Discuss how you can find rest once a day for 30 minutes, once a week for a half-day, once a month for a full day, and once a year for a week.