In light of this being the American week of Thanksgiving, I’ll be writing about the power of gratitude in marriage, and the encouragement it gives to relationships.
Day 1: The Gratitude Jar
Day 2: Gratitude Prayer
John Gottman says that it takes five positive interactions to counteract every one negative interaction a couple has. Yes, you read that right. 5 to 1.
This five-to-one ration takes work! You actually have to intentionally pay attention to how you can make positive deposits, because the negative withdrawals are so easy and commonplace for us selfish humans.
Your wife/husband needs to hear from you what you like about them.
Without technology (cameras, mirrors, etc) it is impossible for us to accurately see two parts on our bodies: Our face, and our backside.
God created us in his image (our face), and our rebellion keeps us from seeing (or wanting to see) our backside. It’s too easy in marriage to point out “the backside” of our spouse. We need to offer a loving balance of what we see in them. (Use the 5:1 ratio as a “loving balance”).
When was the last time you put pen to paper to express gratitude and thanksgiving for your spouse? I find that this act rarely happens after a couple says “I do.”
It doesn’t have to be a 4-page letter with hearts and roses attached to it. Grab a piece of paper, and write 5-7 sentences about your wife/husband.
Tell them what you admire about them. Tell them something glorious about themselves that they struggle to believe.
Shower them with praise.
Tell them why you’re thankful for them.