Words are a gift for us to use with wisdom. Some of us have a lot of them, some of us don’t have all that many.
We use language to express thoughts, feelings, desires, ideas, and hopes. They are not all we have to communicate with, but they are the anchor of our communication. If we’re honest, we don’t measure our language with those closest to us.
If you only had a total of 1,000 words to use per day in your life, how would you use them? Who would you want to give them to (a blessing)? What kind of words would you want to use? What would you want to make sure you said?
We tend to think about assets in terms of financial perspectives. How do we spend our money? How do we invest/save our money?
These, among others, are questions that every marriage deals with. Even if you’re not asking those questions, you’re still dealing with those questions.
There’s a different kind of asset that we forget to talk about: Emotional assets.
Every relationship has an emotional bank account. You make deposits and withdrawals from that account. As is the case with money, when you run a negative balance, life becomes a stressful grind. Each of us has a tolerance as to how long we can go running a negative balance, both financially and emotionally.
Some marriages live paycheck to paycheck, every day needing some kind of positive experience to keep going. Others have invested well
, and can go for a period of time through emotional debts and be ok.
What is the balance for your relationship’s emotional bank account?
Most of us spend so much time thinking about the wealth of our bank account, or retirement plan. What about the wealth of your marriage? There is not a more important investment in life than that of your marriage and family. Governments and economies can all disappear rendering our financial investments worthless. There is nothing that will disrupt the healthy investment of a marriage, and the dividends paid to future generations.
How to be wealthy in Marriage:
- Find ways to surprise your spouse. Most surprises are negative. Make them say “you did what” with joyful expectance.
- Lather them with compliments. What do you like/love about them? Lather them in these compliments two, three, four times over.
- Follow the golden rule in woodworking: Measure twice, cut once / Listen twice, speak once. Ask questions to make sure you’ve heard them. Don’t worry about being heard, do the hard work of listening.
- Daily look at them in the eyes long enough to feel. It’s amazing how intimate this is. Share that feeling you just had when you looked into their eyes.
- Date. Play. Hobby together.
- Deposit positive experiences into their relational bank account, and difficult times will never bankrupt you.
- Don’t wait to get help until you have to. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.