an espresso shot of thoughtful guidance
This post is a part of The 15-Day Relationship Challenge. If you’re just now tuning in, click here for the whole series. MORNINGHello. A Walk Down Memory Lane. Hi. Hey. What’s up. Hello. These are are words of welcome. Of invitation to be here. The word “hello” lets those who hear Read More
Relationships are a lot like owning a house. Unlike calling our landlord in a rental, when something goes wrong with the plumbing, HVAC, or roof, owning a home means that it’s my responsibility to address the problem. I would say that the majority of us naturally respond to our relationships Read More
The problem of our life is almost never the real problem. The real problem is what we are doing in response to our problems. We blame. Point fingers. Yell. Throw things at others, words mostly. We cheat, and steal, and lie. We manipulate. Shade the truth. We get hyper vigilant Read More
Every day on the way to my office, I drive past a massive mound of dirt that has been excavated from a nearby building site. This pile is enormous and for several weeks it kept growing in size. At some point the mound stopped growing and the makers planted grass Read More
This is a great statement from Virginia Satir about the demands of love: “One of the truly basic problems is that our society bases the marital relationship almost completely on love and then imposes demands on it that love can never solely fulfill. If you love me you won’t do Read More
What were you like when you were 13 years old? How were you as a kid when conflict happened in the family? Where did you go and what did you do to feel safe? What was your role in the family surrounding conflict? Sometimes when conflict happens, we can become Read More
Relationships are like muscles, if we exercise them, they will grow (even if we don’t see that growth). Marriage takes work, and will not naturally grow on it’s own. In fact, left alone, a marriage will shrivel up and die. It takes consistent time and energy much like your muscles. Read More
Couples that avoid hurt from happening (or the hurt that has already happened) are preventing intimacy from developing. No one really enjoys being hurt, and being hurt is a part of all close intimate relationships. It’s going to happen. The difficulty is in viewing pain as though it is a Read More
Before I release a pre-marital couple to the wild world of marriage, I challenge them to adopt two words (concepts) as cornerstones for their marriage: Grace and Gratitude. Here’s why. Showing grace implies forgiveness, acceptance, and a belief that your spouse is a better man/woman than what the offending action Read More
Christmas is upon us, and I wonder how you are doing in it all. Rarely do I interact with people about the holidays and they share stories of rest as a main experience. Most say quite the opposite. There’s not enough time. Time is flying by this season. It’s so Read More
