an espresso shot of thoughtful guidance
Step 3: We make a decision, individually and then collectively, to turn our life and the life of our marriage over to the care of God. One of my favorite movie scenes that always comes to mind whenever the topic of surrender comes up is from Indiana Jones and the Holy Grail. Read More
Step 2: We admit there is a God, that is neither ourselves or our spouse, and that God can restore our marriage to sanity. Many people believe that an admission of God’s divine presence in this world is the very first step that we need to take in order for Read More
Step 1: We admit that we are powerless over our strife — that our marriage has become unmanageable and that we not only need help, but desire help. What we know of relationships is that they fill and promise to fill the deep longing inside each and every human being. Read More
Stories can be invitations or implications, how will you receive them?
A friend of mine asked me to put together a brief one-page guide to give to couples at a marriage retreat about finding a good marriage counselor. I thought it might be helpful to share here. Whatever your reason is for seeking counseling, there are a few guidelines that will Read More
Lent is the penitential season of the church calendar that usually involves fasting (or giving up) something that gets in the way of your relationship with God. This season prepares the way for Good Friday, and the celebration of Easter Sunday. One of my good friends is a pastor, and Read More
This is a great statement from Virginia Satir about the demands of love: “One of the truly basic problems is that our society bases the marital relationship almost completely on love and then imposes demands on it that love can never solely fulfill. If you love me you won’t do Read More
What were you like when you were 13 years old? How were you as a kid when conflict happened in the family? Where did you go and what did you do to feel safe? What was your role in the family surrounding conflict? Sometimes when conflict happens, we can become Read More
Relationships are like muscles, if we exercise them, they will grow (even if we don’t see that growth). Marriage takes work, and will not naturally grow on it’s own. In fact, left alone, a marriage will shrivel up and die. It takes consistent time and energy much like your muscles. Read More
Couples that avoid hurt from happening (or the hurt that has already happened) are preventing intimacy from developing. No one really enjoys being hurt, and being hurt is a part of all close intimate relationships. It’s going to happen. The difficulty is in viewing pain as though it is a Read More
