an espresso shot of thoughtful guidance
A millionaire who gives away $100 does not experience the same sacrifice as a factory worker who gives the same amount. It’s easy for someone wealthy to give away a few bucks, it’s not that significant of a cost to them. There is not much sacrifice when we give what Read More
We tend to think about assets in terms of financial perspectives. How do we spend, invest, or save our money? Do we launder our money? How do I/we increase our financial assets? These, among others, are financial questions that every marriage deals with. Even if you’re not asking those questions, Read More
Criticism without hope will lead to contempt.Criticism with hope will spawn creativity. It’s way easier to give the criticism than to receive it, but we all need helpful, loving, critical feedback in order to grow and change. We can be more receptive to hearing critical feedback if we feel secure, Read More
Last week I wrote about the allure of Porn. As a therapist, I’ve interacted with hundreds of men, women, and teenagers about their sexuality and porn usage. They all desire sexual wellness but struggle to know how to find it. In working with them, there are three things that always Read More
The best explanation I have heard for shame is a simple acronym: Should Have Already Mastered Everything It’s the feeling that tells us to figure things out on our own. Don’t ask for help. Don’t admit weakness or needs. Keep the facade up, act like you know what the topic of conversation is about. Shame Read More
The Viewpoint Life FulfillmentResearch from the “Pew Research Center” is almost always engaging, but the most recent study is really fascinating. Take a look at the below graph: Work is the #1 means to a fulfilling life for both men and women. I’m not surprised that men and women flip Read More
When we talk about having confidence we’re usually referring to the feeling of being steadfast, solid, or steady in our decision/statement. We also use the word to describe telling someone something private or secret that we ask them to keep “in confidence.” Confidence comes from the Latin word which means to act Read More
Each day is full of potential. Usually this “potential” is beyond what we know to be possible. Potential successes. Potential failures. We sometimes wake up with great expectations, and other times with great dread. But we all wake up in the same position: Unable to change time. We can’t make Read More
The word “comfort” comes from the Latin word which means “strengthen greatly.” We use this word to describe relief from distress more so than strength in our distress. In Western culture, the majority of us have a variety of “things” that are comfortable. Comfort food. Comfortable shoes. A comfy sweatshirt. Read More
The allure and promise of porn is simple. It’s about acceptance. It tugs at our need to be saved. Rescued. Our need for salvation. Porn says, “You can come as you are. You are welcome here. Alone. Tired. Afraid. Ashamed. No problem, You’re ok here.” Usually not really knowing what Read More
