Often times clients leave my office and sit in their car, have a conversation in the parking lot, or go for a walk to process what was just discussed in their counseling appointment. Much of the growth that happens in therapy comes throughout the days between the appointment. But sometimes growth isn’t experienced, remembered, or seen because we fail to set aside time and space to see it.
The golden rule of woodworking is “measure twice, cut once.” In relationships, we often get that advice backwards. We cut before we measure. More specifically, we speak before we listen. TLR is a space to listen first, and then to listen again. Listen for God; for understanding; for responsibility; for needs; and for the good. This is a space for quiet internal and external processing. What started as an idea for a room in my counseling office (for clients to sit before or after an appointment) has expanded into an invitation for you in your home.
In most homes there are designated rooms in the house. A bedroom for sleep. A living room for entertaining, gathering, and talking. A TV room for entertainment. A dining room for eating and drinking. A bath room for cleaning, grooming, and preparing for or ending the day. Very rarely have I come across a house that is set aside for growth and development.
I think all homes need to have a room designated to be “The Listening Room” where individuals can go and listen without distractions. Where couples can go and have productive conflicts, conversations, and work out their dreams together. Where families can gather with the purpose of getting to know each other in a productive environment.
Space to Listen
Space to Talk
Space to Process
Space to Remember
If you’re like me, you don’t have a room in your house that can be solely used for this purpose. In that case, designate your bedroom as The Listening Room (it needs to be a room with a door). Create some guidelines of what is allowed or un-allowed as use of that room. Suggestions: No technology, no raised voices, no bright lights, no toys, no food or drink. Create the space that would be most inviting to you or others in your house where listening is unencumbered.
Set aside space to listen. Listen to your story. Listen to God. Listen to your spouse. Listen to the silence.
if you find something you need help processing, give me a call. I’d be glad to see if I can help.