I think most people would agree that no one wants to be a needy person. We usually distance ourselves from those who have little to no ability (as adults) to help themselves. The problem is, that we are all people of need, and this is a very uncomfortable position. If I admit to needing something (which is different than wanting), this means I don\u2019t have the ability to self-produce everything for my life.<\/p>\n
My inability to self-produce all that I need for my life is evident at every moment of the day. I need oxygen to survive and there is no way for my body to get oxygen without breathing \u2026 which is an involuntary action. I can only tell my body to stop breathing for so long, and then it takes over and starts breathing again. I am not in complete control over my body, nor anything else in life.<\/p>\n
Our needing help from others is like breathing. If you stop breathing as much, you will become a burden to others. This is the same with our relational and emotional needs\u2014if you stop needing relationship with\u00a0others, you\u2019ll become a burden. No one wants to be in a relationship with an overly needy or needless person. Sure, we often complain about how needy others are around us, but the reality is some of these needs are exactly what draws us to people. (It used to be that we needed others to tell us what our faces looked like because we had no ability to see ourselves \u2014 technology has removed that need, among other things)<\/p>\n
I feel useful, which is a sense of self-worth, when I am able to give something that I can do to someone who doesn\u2019t have that ability. Certainly we can get caught up in becoming addicted to helping others (codependency), but at the heart we all need to give away that which is a natural resource within us. Our resources are there not to keep to ourselves, but to share with others. When I\u2019m able to share my natural abilities with others, it\u2019s a gift from them.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t feel all that useful when I\u2019m asking for help. It\u2019s hard and vulnerable to ask for help, but it\u2019s also a gift. If I don\u2019t ask for help, I\u2019m preventing someone else from the ability to share their resources with me. Not asking for help is incredibly prideful and selfish. Relationships won\u2019t last long if you withhold needs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I think most people would agree that no one wants to be a needy person. We usually distance ourselves from those who have little to no ability (as adults) to help themselves. The problem is, that we are all people of need, and this is a very uncomfortable position. If I admit to needing something […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":[],"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[1],"tags":[29,23,69,62,25,28],"class_list":["post-638","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life_process","tag-intimacy","tag-language","tag-needs","tag-personality","tag-shame","tag-story"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\n