If I\u2019ve heard it once, I\u2019ve heard it a hundred times: Wives are terrified of their husbands driving behaviors. Just a few months ago a couple sat in my office and the wife was almost in tears about the trip from their home to my office. They were running a few minutes late, the husband was upset with his wife for not being ready on time, and thus drove in a very careless manner. He, of course, did not see it this way.<\/p>\n
The most common rebuttal I hear men use to defend their driving ability:\u00a0How many times have I gotten in a wreck?<\/i>\u00a0This was the exact response the husband said to his wife during their drive to my office after she asked him to slow down. He was not going to change his ways. The message was clear:\u00a0I will continue driving this way regardless of how you feel about it.<\/i><\/p>\n
I\u2019ve been guilty of this behavior, and of using this excuse. My rationale is that Stephanie, my wife, should have no reason to be afraid of me driving because I\u2019ve got an incredibly glowing record on the road. During our 12 years together, I\u2019ve gotten 1 ticket and only been in one minor fender bender (I\u2019ll refrain from defending either occurrence).<\/p>\n
The problem is, despite my great driving record, I\u2019m paying more attention to my perceived abilities than I am her fears. This is the definition of arrogance. Sure, some of her fears are bigger than what I\u2019m causing, but the moment that I began to slow down a bit and not drive so close to other cars is about the same time that she began to relax on our trips together. It\u2019s no coincidence that her fears are near zero now that I\u2019ve chilled out driving.<\/p>\n
Our call as husbands is to love and care for the places in our wives that are insecure. I\u2019m not sure why it is this way, but driving fast excites men and terrifies women. This is a perfect setup for there to be conflict.<\/p>\n
We men are driving precious cargo: Our kids, wife, and ourselves. The way we drive is a direct connection to how well we care for that cargo. If we are driving carelessly, we are placing a judgment of little value on those we claim to love the most.<\/p>\n
The majority of the time we are driving alone. No one is there to tell us to slow down, stop texting, checking ESPN, or reading twitter. But these are the moments that we need to be the most aware of the impact our lives have on those around us. If you end up in a coma or six feet under, her fears will be confirmed. All it takes is one accident to nullify your illustrious driving career.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m constantly on the lookout for the ideas around relationships that make logical sense and have a high rate of return. Sometimes in my search for the ever elusive \u201ceasy button\u201d (I blame Staples) I miss out on the true easy opportunities to love my wife. Surprising, I know. When I realized that the way I drive is like me writing a love letter to my wife, I began paying very close attention.<\/p>\n
There are hundreds of practical ways that we men can love our wives. Some of these efforts take hours, some only take a few moments. Changing your driving habits might cost you 4-5 minutes per day. Spending these 4-5 minutes as an extra investment of love will yield great results.<\/p>\n